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THE FIRST REPORT IS NOT THE LAST REPORT
THE FIRST REPORT IS NOT THE LAST REPORT
I shared about final pathology on Friday, much of the post below, but I didn’t have peace in my heart about it. Partially because I know a lot of people will listen to the call and only hear the doctor telling me I have a level 3 malignant tumor and giving me 5 years to live without chemo and radiation. Partially because I was ignoring the Holy Spirit’s nudge, asking me if all the things I’m sharing about my thoughts and experience with aftercare are necessary – is it being said to edify? Is it kind? Is it true – the answer there is yes – but what’s true doesn’t always need to be said. So I went through and deleted a lot of it, most of it. My thoughts and feelings towards my surgeon are gratitude for doing such an amazing job and for being used by my Creator, whether he realizes it or not, to set me free in so many ways. Anything negative I feel is from my flesh and the devil… and he’s not invited to this party.
Yesterday was a hard day. Lots of angry tears, hopeless tears. More yelling at God than praying. Misplaced, I see that now. I know healing is mine, it is part of the atonement of Christ, the same as salvation, but I was sinking into embracing the same thought that I’d had for most of my life before the tumor was removed: My whole family would be better off without me, so why should I pursue building my faith that healing is mine? Lies. Lies of the destroyer of my soul. He got to occupy a lot of my headspace yesterday… not today. #NotTodaySatan
I scrubbed all evidence of this testimony last night just before bed - personal Facebook, both our business Facebook pages, Instagram, YouTube. All of it. Deleted. Very few people have acknowledged having read my post or having taken the time to watch the video that I spent HOURS re-learning iMovie again to put together and my pride said, ‘See. This is why you shouldn’t have told anyone about any of this from the start. No one cares. You’ve been given a death sentence unless you submit to chemo and radiation and everyone is too wrapped up in themselves to say a word.’ And I was believing that yesterday... Yesterday. But today is a new day. ❤️
Look. If only one person reads these long posts that I pour my heart into, if it leads them to learn more about God’s heart towards them and helps them grow in their faith, or accept Christ (PRAISE GOD!!!), or take their authority and receive what belongs to them through the atonement, then all the time and energy I put into getting this stuff out is well worth it…because it’s not about me. A new friend is now listening to the teachings on healing that were linked in this post before I deleted it last night. I won’t share anything about his family and why healing would be the bell that rings and draws him closer to the Lord, but I will say that this morning the Lord showed me that this is all from Him and I am not to throw it away, taking it away from the one in a hundred that it's meant to speak to, over my bruised ego. So, I’m reposting it now with all the anger about the tone of the call wiped from my words and pointing the spotlight where it should have been all along – on the awesome power and promises of my Abba Father, Jehovah-Rapha! ❤️
❤️ The First Report Is Not The Last Report ❤️
✨ Final Pathology 🧠
I finally got final pathology back on Thursday, June 30, 2022. I have been expecting and believing that the tumor removed from my brain on May 4, 2022 was benign. It was. It was a level 2 benign tumor. 🧠🙌🏼 The surgeon said that it was changing into a level 3, something I honestly missed him saying until I just made myself re-listen to the video just now after my best friend brought it to my attention. I went and Googled:
* Anaplastic Astrocytoma
Don’t Google things relating to health, especially on this level. It’s never good news. 🙅🏻♀️
I am still as confident and assured as I was before yesterday’s call that I am full, whole, healed and delivered, on earth as in heaven, in perfect health. I am prosperous and in health even as my soul prospers in the protective, loving arms of my Jehovah-Rapha. ❤️
The surgeon had more to say on the call … I will say a couple things now that I’ve taken the time to collect my thoughts…
I did not pray much on Thursday, June 30, 2022 when I received this news. I just thought. The Lord has heard the fear in my heart after the call, the thoughts as I looked at my husband and thought, ‘Will he remarry and someone else will get to know the love of this amazing, beautiful man? Will she be kind to my children?’ and as I looked at my kids yesterday I was thinking, ‘Will I see them grow up? Will You hold their hearts and not allow it to ruin them emotionally if I don’t live?’, and as I thought about the miraculous freedom I’ve been walking in since the surgery on May 4, I’ve thought, ‘Why? Why would You let me taste freedom only to allow it to be taken away with a seeming death sentence?’ … These may be ‘completely natural’ thoughts, fears to be having, but I AM NOT COMPLETELY NATURAL! I walk in the Spirit, I have access to the supernatural, divine health and healing that my Savior died to give me belong to me - IN THIS LIFE. I do not accept or believe any bad report because that is not what my God says is mine. 🙅🏻♀️
🔥 Psalm 139:23-24: Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
🔥 2 Timothy 1:7: For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
I am more thankful than I can articulate for the surgeon’s skilled mind and hands to have been used by God to remove this tumor and be the instrument that God used to deliver me from decades of mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual bondage that I thought I would live the rest of my life with, worsening the older and older I got, and eventually I would die and finally have peace in eternity. That is no way to live. Praise God that He draws water from the rock and makes a way where there is no way that our small minds and darkened eyes can see. Oh, praise God! 🙌🏼❤️
❤️ I will not be shaken. I will not be overcome. Because I am an overcomer. Above and not beneath. The head and not the tail. Because I have the power that raised my Savior from the dead living on the inside of me and greater is He that is in me than he that is in this fallen world! 🙌🏼😎
This is MY health information, MY life, MY DECISION TO MAKE. Regardless of how idiotic anyone thinks my decision is. I do not care. I will seek the Holy Spirit’s direction and follow my peace. ✌🏼
I am thankful for who God used to be my surgeon, he has been a blessing to me and my family in that capacity and he is apparently one of the best in the metroplex. I called to pay off my bill on Friday morning and have my records sent to me. We, not knowing what stuff like brain surgery costs, but figuring it’s no small amount, assumed that this bill would be somewhere between $100K-$200K. That seems like an expected amount in this country for this kind of surgery (ahem, 🗣 profit racket 💰🏥🇺🇸), so when they emailed me the bills and the total with the self-pay discount was $3,972.00 I was like, ‘Whaaaa?!?!’ What a pleasant surprise! 😊 I understand that any doctor would make more treating an insured patient, as opposed to treating someone like me that does not have (and cannot get) insurance, and I’m not begrudging them that fact. They should get paid for their expertise. We own a roofing and construction company (Shameless Plug: G.I. Construction Management ) and we are well aware of the difference in profit between a cash pay homeowner and working with a homeowner’s insurance company for something like a hail damaged/totaled roof. But we don’t treat our cash pay customers like a burden. There’s a lesson to learn there. 😏 And $3,972.00 is nothing to balk at anyway, just much smaller than what the profit would be if I had insurance.
I’ve already left a message for Dr. Patel to call me next week. I’ll be gathering all my imaging from MRI’s I’ve had done and records from Dr. Somyreddy, Medical City of Plano, and my surgeon and seeing where the Lord leads me. 🧠🗂➡️
I feel like I should share this now or I’ll keep forgetting. Want to hear something amazing?! I did not officially apply for any kind of financial assistance in the hospital bc I already knew we wouldn’t qualify. Your total household income for a family of 5 cannot exceed $64,291.00 annually for Medicaid, so when the guy called my room at the hospital, I told him he could check, but I know we won’t qualify - he checked, we didn’t qualify. End of story… Maybe 2 days later, at least 4-5 days before I was discharged, a girl from their financial department came to my room to see about me applying for what I assumed the guy had done over the phone, so I said no need, we don’t qualify. I asked her what our bill was at that point and it was $161K and something… but I still had 4-6 more days inpatient at that point. I called last week to get the final total so I could set it up on our bank’s bill pay to start sending in minimal payments on what I fully expected to be around a $300K bill… and the lady said I had a zero balance. I was like WHAT?! HOW?! Dustin was sitting in front of me shaking his head no and mouthing, “Don’t ask questions! Just hang up!” 😂😂😂 I guess they used my info from applying with the guy and applied me for financial assistance - I got approved at 100%!!!! Can you believe that?!?! I was in awe! 🤯😯🤩❤️ I called the hospital Friday morning, bc I’m a curious cat, and asked how much the bill ended up totaling in the end … $391,414.44. 😳 Not gonna argue with having a zero balance on that! ✌🏼👋🏼🙌🏼
🔥 Deuteronomy 31:8: The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
I’ve already put in the request to know the direction of my next step with Jehovah-Rapha. Now I wait for that direction and peace. 🙏🏼✌🏼😎❤️
I don’t need people that will speak to the fear that the devil is already trying to whisper in my ear - reminding me of all the things said on the call that ‘could’ happen. I’ve had, ‘5 years! 5 years! 5 years!’ trying to break its way into my heart since I hung up yesterday. I reject that. In Jesus’ name. 🙅🏻♀️👊🏼 We’ve been praying for the right people to be brought into our lives. I need people that know and believe what God’s word says about what belongs to us in Christ to come along side and stand with us. During this time, yes, and at all times. 🙏🏼❤️ That is what we pray for when we pray about a body of believers. Like minded. To pull us out of the pit when we fall, for us to pull out of the pit when they fall. 🙏🏼🙌🏼❤️
🔥 Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 💪🏼
I’ve listened to the entire series years ago, but it’s time to listen again. That I can’t remember it enough to stand on the wisdom I got from it back then tells me that the hardening of my heart 🖤 deafened my ears and erased me memory of what I once knew. Refresher courses are needed sometimes. 👇🏼
And then this one after that one… 👇🏼
And then this one… 👇🏼
And then this book that we read and studied as a church when we went to Movement Church in Celina, Texas… 👇🏼
I'm adding this as I get this ready to publish because the 2 most important days in your life, in your walk with Jesus, are the day that you accept Him as your Lord and Savior and the day you receive the beautiful, promised gift of the baptism of the Holy Spirit. This is not water baptism... and it set my husband and me on FIRE in ways that we were not before we received it. This study by Kenneth Hagin is how I went about understanding HOW to receive it. I thought I might go the rest of my life without it because I didn't understand that I receive the Holy Spirit the same way I received my salvation - by faith. Receiving the baptism of the Holy Spirit will BLESS you, it will fill your heart with consuming fire for God!
🔥 Acts 2:1-4: When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.
This teaching is AMAZING. It will change your life. CHANGE YOUR LIFE. You should listen to it.
Man, there is so much to learn from these teachings. When someone has a specific anointing to teach and share the Gospel, I could listen to those people for hours. I don’t idolize any man. I just know gifted ministering when I hear it. And, in turn, dead, lifeless, powerless ministering. You can’t even call it ministering. It’s just noise. Anyway. I’ll head off on a tangent if I keep on that path. 🙊
I am whole. I am healthy. It was a level 2 benign tumor. That was the only definitive take away from final pathology. And that is GOOD NEWS!!! PRAISE GOD!!! 🙌🏼❤️🧠
🔥 Jeremiah 29:11-13: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek me with all your heart.” ❤️
🔥 James 4:8: Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
Don’t mind the hair attacking and sticking to my Chapstick covered lips while I’m on the phone with the surgeon. I had Dustin’s phone recording in 1 hand and my phone on speaker in the other. Where’s a 3rd appendage when you need it?! 🤪
This song has been an anthem on my lips and a balm to my soul every single day lately - I stick it on a loop and worship with reckless abandon! PRAISE GOD!
I will sing of Your goodness
I will sing of Your love
Though the seasons come quickly
You have always been enough
Though the night may get darker
Though the waiting seems long
You have always been faithful
To remind me of Your love
You are good
In the morning I'll sing
You are good
In the evening I'll sing
You are good
You are good to me!!!
You have always been patient
You have always been kind
You're consistent through the ages
Oh, what a friend of mine
So I'll remind my soul to bless You
Standing firm upon Your truth
Knowing You cannot be shaken
'CAUSE I'VE SEEN WHAT YOU CAN DO!!!
You are good, oh yeah
In the morning I'll sing
You are good
In the evening I'll sing
You are good
You are good to me!!! 🙌🏼❤️
I have been sharing daily on my Facebook Art Page what the Lord has been sharing with me. I will start sharing exclusively on my new blog once it is completed. Until then, come like and follow the Facebook page! 👇🏼
🔥 Isaiah 43:1-2: now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you.
I am His. ❤️